Eternal Grammar Champions
individuals are meteors designed to burn so that
the earth may
Below, in this
hallowed hall, enshrined for all eternity, are photos
noble souls who took up the gauntlet in Dr. Wheeler's
writing courses. These individuals successfully vanquished
their foes, either in single combat or as part of a team
effort. They have proven themselves to be champions
grammar, and most worthy of induction into this esteemed
catalog of heroes. Their god-like mastery of active
sentence structure, their deft skill with conjunctive
adverbs, and their prowess with past participles,
these traits set them in a category above lesser humanity.
Indeed, they are paragons for all grammarians to emulate.
They are slayers of the dreaded passive voice, independent
conquerers of dependent clauses, dashing destroyers
dangling participles, and fearless foes of fragmented
phrases. Indeed, these word-lords are our last bastion
of hope for the King's English in these barbaric times
of civil decay. O ye students of the university, look
to their light, and have hope! Look to their example,
and fear not the corruption of our noble English tongue!
man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a Colossus
/ And we petty men walk under his huge legs and peep
about / To find ourselves dishonourable graves."
Here are some recent championship teams in the Grammar Day competition:
the Rabid Comma team! Grrr! (with Sarah Bennett and Teresa Lane)
Aayanah Martino, and Ashley Owens looking confident as part of team Bat-Flota!
Grammar champs at Carson-Newman University,
champs at Gonzaga University,
champs at the University of Oregon