|
1. It is unethical to torture a defenseless puppy
for personal amusement.
2. Torturing animals will disgust your lover or spouse,
and that lover or spouse will probably have nothing to do
with you afterwards.
3. Microwaves radically elevate the temperature of
biological liquids, including the fluids of the cardiovascular
system and the inner-ear canal.
4. Cruelty to animals is a felony in Tennessee, and
it could result in a five-to-ten-year prison sentence.
5. You might damage your expensive microwave.
6. You might damage my expensive microwave.
7. Sparky belongs to me.
8. You put the last one in the microwave, and it's
my turn now.
9. Huitzilopochtli, the Aztec god of war, forbids
us to kill one of his holy avatars.
10. You will have to clean the microwave afterward.
11. Sparky is--gosh darn it--too cute for that!
12. Your suggestion that it will dry his coat and
get rid of the "wet dog" smell is erroneous.
13. The strong always have an obligation to defend
lesser creatures that are weak and helpless.
14. Burritos taste better than puppies when they are
reheated.
15. All the food you cook in the microwave will taste
like puppy hair afterwards.
REMEMBER:
There is more than one way to build an argument, and not all
arguments are equally persuasive. You will have the best possible
chance of convincing someone of your own argument if you carefully
adapt your writing to work with and incorporate concerns that
you share with the reader, rather than simply relying
on your own beliefs and concerns.
|
